Guy’s in Lingerie Stores – Ten Commandments

  1. Thou shall psych oneself up prior to walking into the store by carefully considering a plan of attack. ?This means not lingering for a period of time that is likely to draw suspicious glances from staff.
  2. Though shall have a cover story in place that suggests thou is purchasing for wife/girlfriend/mistress as a surprise present.
  3. Though shall pretend to be far less knowledgeable about sizing and fabrics to the staff to ensure thou appears as a stereotypical dumb male buying lingerie.
  4. Thou shall tell staff the wife/girlfriend/mistress is a size ‘X’ and under no circumstances say ‘she’s about my size’. ?This clearly gives the staff member reason to believe thou is buying for oneself.
  5. Thou shall only purchase underwear with a wide gusset. ?Bare minimum of 4 inches or 10cm. ?This will avoid splitting oneself in two, having one testicle in confinement and one on the loose or raising your voice by 6 octaves.
  6. Thou shall keep well clear of thongs and G Strings as they generally only have 1.2 square inches of fabric in the front. ?Refer point 5.
  7. Though shall stick with stretch fabrics only, despite being hypnotically drawn towards bright shiny satins and polyesters. ?Snap out of it. ?We both know they are not going to work.
  8. Thou shall not indulge in fantasies of the store assistants ‘helping you’ with your lingerie in the change room. ?Make the purchase and escape!
  9. Thou shall take advantage of Valentine’s and Christmas periods to stock up on lingerie in vast amounts when it is less suspicious you are buying for oneself.
  10. Every few years you will feel you must purge all your lingerie from your house/shed/work hiding place because ‘enough is enough’! ?Then you will go out and do it all again.

 

One Reply to “Guy’s in Lingerie Stores – Ten Commandments”

  1. Amen! Done all those things. Especially about the purge and getting rid of all my nice feminine stuff. Done it many times but I always come back to it and buy more. I cannot resist the need to feel nice panties caressing my boy bits.

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