The cycle of guilt

Any guy that’s into lingerie has no doubt wrestled with the guilt associated with wearing something ‘they’re not supposed to’.? What drives that guilt?? Probably the same thing that drives the urge to wear the lingerie in the first place.? The first time is pretty exciting, but so very wrong! So you avoid it for a while until the temptation becomes too great and then BANG!? You’re wearing panties again.

You don’t understand why you are compelled to do it over and over again, but the feeling is divine.? Sound familiar?? You’re not alone.? This is pretty much what we all go through at the beginning of our cycle of guilt.? Eventually you come to an uneasy truce with your conscience regarding your lingerie wearing ways.? Like a smoker that can ‘give up any time’ after a 30 year habit, you tell yourself you’re not really addicted.

You decide to just let yourself go for a while.? Just wear the odd pair that you find appealing.? Then you’re out shopping ? sweating bullets while you peruse the aisles in search of the perfect panty.? Wide crotch, no centre seam, stretch both ways.? You spy something that looks great and is possibly in your size and go for it. ?Nonchalantly strutting around the lingerie section, you’re gaining confidence now.? Might as well take advantage of the situation eh?? No point buying one pair.? May as well go hard and be embarrassed once instead of having to come back next week!

But you don’t have much cash and cash is King right?? Can’t have the wife finding out you’re buying lingerie and not giving it to her!? If only she was the same size.? Ugh!? Oh well, this will have to do.? You slide over to the checkout with your head held high.? You don’t give a damn what the lady there thinks.? Even though you think she knows you’re buying for yourself.? Just tell her your wife is ‘about the same size as you’.? Bet she’s never heard that one before.

She tells you to ‘have a nice day’ which is cute because you know you’re going to have an effing AWESOME day as soon as you get home.? But you just smile and say ‘thanks, you too’ and try not to run out of the store.

It’s done now.? You have the lingerie in the bag and you’re out the door.? You wish you could just teleport yourself home and try these suckers on right?? But you can’t so you resign yourself to getting in the car, and opening up the parcel, ripping off the paper and feeling the fabric.

Goddam, it’s like being high!? Just the anticipation of getting home and trying on this lingerie is getting you worked up!? And you get home. You try them on.? They’re perfect.? You love it.

Then the guilt sets in.

You place the lingerie in the box under the spanner set in the back shed where no one else ever goes. You realise just how much of a collection you have and begin to question whether you really can give up as easily as you thought. ?Wow, it’s quite a collection.? You can recall every purchase from every store.? Out of town shopping trips.? That time you were away on business and went crazy in the lingerie section.? Blew more money on panties than food and accommodation!? Man that was fun. ?But give it all up? Of course you can!? Throw them out.? Who needs lingerie?? What the hell have you been doing spending hundreds or thousands of dollars on women’s underwear!

Garbage bag.? Big one.? Lingerie in, then out in the garbage.? Phew! Thank God that’s over.? It was getting out of hand and it was time to purge.? Just boy undies for me from now on.? Woo hoo, I’m gonna man up and stick to boxers. To hell with the frilly stuff, I’M BAAACK and I’m gonna be just like everybody else!!!

One week later

You’re out shopping at the mall.? A hot pink, white lace, black highlight color combination catches your eye.? You walk into the lingerie store ‘just to look’.

You spend $200 on new lingerie.? You can’t wait to get it home.? The cycle begins again…