Trans Women Lingerie

So I’m perusing the web and stumble across the blog post at the Lingerie Addict?and felt the need to respond. ?My reply wasn’t meant to offend anyone and if it did, well I apologise.

The transcript of my response is below.

“Strangely enough, and though I’m loathe to repeat myself, we never set out to challenge anyone or anything at any time. HommeMystere began simply because I couldn’t find lingerie that I liked and that would fit comfortably enough that it could be worn for more than ten minutes without becoming unbearable.
Despite the assertion that ‘men who crossdress get all this beautiful lingerie to choose from’, the reality is simply not true. Sure there’s plenty of beautiful lingerie about but very little of it will actually fit a guy!
The reality is the market for men’s lingerie is small, even on a global scale. All our garments are manufactured to the highest quality / best price matrix that I think is reasonable based on the anticipated demand for each new line.
I can only imagine how tiny the trans women market must be for lingerie. I suspect it would not be remotely viable as a business based on the required economies of scale to establish and grow a new business.
As the owner of HommeMystere, I have never pretended to do anything other than create lingerie that fits men. Nothing more and nothing less. The reason we target our lingerie towards men is because that is the market I understand. I am my own best customer because I have been doing this for 30 years before starting the business. It would be remiss of me to advertise towards the transgender community when I have no knowledge of that market.
As for the criticism of Chrysalis, I think it reflects a deep lack of understanding about business ? on the part of the customers. I have never been in touch with the owners of Chrysalis but I feel they have been treated quite harshly by the customer group they are trying to serve. Rather than criticise the Label, perhaps some support and constructive advice would help all achieve their goals. A viable business and nice lingerie!
I certainly take a conciliatory approach with our own customers because they are like family to me. We share the love of lingerie and while I get to make the final decision, if I have a question on anything from style to color to name, I know I can ask several thousand customers and receive a considered response.
The trans community needs to speak up a little louder, start something for themselves or support businesses like Chrysalis that are trying to break new ground.
As for the whole rude ignorant salesperson at the lingerie store, we’ve all encountered that kind of thing. There are plenty of store owners that are more than happy to address whatever your requirements. You just have to keep looking until you find the right one.
I am in this business because I absolutely love lingerie. Everything from the design phase to the samples, photographs to conversing with the guys. I do it because I love it and each new sale is a vindication that the first few years of struggle and criticism from the naysayers was worth it. To Chrysalis, Herroom?and any others in a niche market having a go, I say good on you and I hope you have every success.”

The Media Focus is Changing

We’ve been remarkably fortunate to receive quite a bit of media coverage over the past couple of years. ?For many customers and visitors, it’s as if HommeMystere has just arrived on the scene and we’re an overnight sensation! ?Nothing could be further from the truth. ?It’s taken a lot of hard work, money, faith and above all else, passion.

Until you actually begin doing something you really really love and have had an interest in for what seems like forever, you never quite understand what ‘passion’ for your work means. ?You can like your job, or even love your job! ?But does it keep you awake at night? ?Are you constantly thinking of what you can do better? ?How you can improve something? ?Does it consume you? ?That’s what HommeMystere is all about for us.

So when the media comes along, it’s as much an experience for us as I’m sure it is for the agency or reporter. ?Two recent articles from Fusion and Mic.com highlighted a few points for us. ?Firstly, there is still the focus on the sexuality of the guy that likes lingerie. ?Is he gay? ?He must be. ?Or he must be bi at least! ?There is always an interest in that area.

But something else is happening. ?There is more of an acceptance that lingerie exists. ?There’s an acknowledgement that some guys like briefs with a bit of lace or want to wear a bra or sleep in a soft one piece teddy. ?And guess what! ?Like girls, some guys can look pretty damn good in a thong!

One of our early garments
Decent butt wrapped around one of our early release thongs

It’s also enlightening to receive feedback from customers. ?We knew there were plenty of guys that hid their lingerie habits but we were pleasantly surprised to hear how many shopped with their partners too!

Men’s lingerie is harmless fun enjoyed for a variety of reasons. ?But only those of us with the lingerie addiction know just how passionate guys can be about lingerie….It’s a cycle of indulgence,?enjoyment, guilt, purge and acceptance.

There’s nothing better…except perhaps sharing lingerie..

Sharing China Doll Bras
Sharing China Doll Bras

Welcome Annabelle!

Adding a new garment to the HommeMystere collection is always exciting. ?Less fun is deciding what to name the garment. ?Sometimes it’s easy and straightforward, sometimes it can be difficult.

Annabelle Panty

 

So lately we have been asking our customers and visitors for suggestions on garment names. ?Some of the suggestions for this set included ‘Azure Pleasure’, ‘Blue Belle’, ‘My Garter Panty and Bra’ and many more.

Ultimately though, we decided to choose ‘Annabelle’ for this release. ?It was suggested by Trent in the US and he has been a fan of HommeMystere for some time. ?Using a female name is something we have considered for previous releases and is something we may continue to use in future.

Annabelle Panty back

 

We’re sure that Annabelle will be popular with out customers and look forward to providing a new style next month. ?Perhaps something a little more risque that our current styles.

Annabelle is available in store now!

Annabelle set

Guy’s in Lingerie Stores – Ten Commandments

  1. Thou shall psych oneself up prior to walking into the store by carefully considering a plan of attack. ?This means not lingering for a period of time that is likely to draw suspicious glances from staff.
  2. Though shall have a cover story in place that suggests thou is purchasing for wife/girlfriend/mistress as a surprise present.
  3. Though shall pretend to be far less knowledgeable about sizing and fabrics to the staff to ensure thou appears as a stereotypical dumb male buying lingerie.
  4. Thou shall tell staff the wife/girlfriend/mistress is a size ‘X’ and under no circumstances say ‘she’s about my size’. ?This clearly gives the staff member reason to believe thou is buying for oneself.
  5. Thou shall only purchase underwear with a wide gusset. ?Bare minimum of 4 inches or 10cm. ?This will avoid splitting oneself in two, having one testicle in confinement and one on the loose or raising your voice by 6 octaves.
  6. Thou shall keep well clear of thongs and G Strings as they generally only have 1.2 square inches of fabric in the front. ?Refer point 5.
  7. Though shall stick with stretch fabrics only, despite being hypnotically drawn towards bright shiny satins and polyesters. ?Snap out of it. ?We both know they are not going to work.
  8. Thou shall not indulge in fantasies of the store assistants ‘helping you’ with your lingerie in the change room. ?Make the purchase and escape!
  9. Thou shall take advantage of Valentine’s and Christmas periods to stock up on lingerie in vast amounts when it is less suspicious you are buying for oneself.
  10. Every few years you will feel you must purge all your lingerie from your house/shed/work hiding place because ‘enough is enough’! ?Then you will go out and do it all again.

 

So we asked for some feedback…

This week we asked our subscribers for feedback on their lingerie wearing ways – particularly what any ladies thought about guys wearing panties or lingerie in general. ?Here are a some of the responses

MY MAN is extremely masculine and very much enjoys wearing lingerie, I encourage him – he can express his sexuality in whatever way pleasures him and myself. ?I find it very erotic that he wears lingerie and have an extensive collection myself, the satin, lace and silk against your skin and rubbing your partners body when together in bed is pleasurable for both of us. ?It does not mean that he is gay or bisexual, it is incredibly sexy to see my big strong man strutting around in his lingerie – hot hot hot”

I HAVE recently been dating a female school teacher, who would of preferred the sexual excitement of finding out for herself that I wear panties, rather than me telling her upfront before we got to the physical stage of the relationship. ?This new lady friend of mine, told me off for assuming she would think I was weird and not wanting to see me…..she thinks it amazingly beautiful, that I think of her when I am going to visit her, and choose a pair of my best half silk and lace, pastel shade panties, especially to see her……..A lot of women are not offended, and love the idea of men wearing panties, they often look more sexy than some females..”

I READ an interview with Eddie Izzard in Saturday’s Toronto Star and in a brief paragraph he described my experience exactly, saying he’s a transvestite; not gay, he doesn’t want to be a woman, loves women – and their clothes. ?Had that attraction since he was 4. ?It’s not a compulsion, but it feels good to wear satin and lace and frilly things. ?BTW, I’m 77″

(read the interview – it’s worth the time)

I AM married to the most beautiful woman for 33 years. ?We have two very successful daughters. ?My wife learned of my liking to wear lingerie when we were engaged. ?Since then she has bought most of my bras and panties, as well as negligees. ?I wear regular underwear during the week. ?But the weekend is for bras and panties. ?She has no problem with that as I am quite straight. ?Just like the feel of lingerie. ?Recently found HM and bought two different sets. ?When I get out of the shower on the weekend, she was waiting to “dress me” in my new bra and panties. ?She even has a special draw for all my lingerie. ?And she always picks out what I wear every weekend. ?Even the negligee for Saturday night. ?Been doing this for years, and we are both comfortable with it.”

I LIKE and I love my HommeMystere mens bra and panty because me and my 27 male staff wear bras and panties everyday, and our women also like this underwear, it comfortable for men.”

Why do guys like wearing lingerie?

I listened to a Pod-cast this morning regarding our lingerie. One of the points raised was that men enjoyed women’s lingerie because it is lingerie made for women! Absolutely correct! That’s the taboo factor coming into play. The fact that it’s something socially unacceptable is the reason why many guys enjoy doing it.

However aside from a few select brands of women’s underwear, it doesn’t fit. And while it might be fun for the first five minutes, what if you really like to wear something a little sexier all day? Hence why there is HommeMystere. We wanted lingerie with a feminine look, though was designed in patterns and sizes suitable for guys to wear all day.

Another point raised was in regard to the look of lingerie on a guy. Let’s get something clear on this – we design the lingerie to make the customer feel better about themselves – not to make anyone else happy. I imagine it’s the same reason women buy lingerie – they buy it because it makes them feel better about themselves. And if their partner likes them wearing it then great! If it spices things up in the bedroom then that’s great too! It’s exactly the same for guys.

Whether it’s leather or PVC, sexy boxers, tank tops or lace bras and panties, it’s just clothing. If it makes the wearer feel better about themselves then great. Mission accomplished.

Listen to thebreastlife Pod-cast athttps://soundcloud.com/thebreastlife/boobs-in-the-news-episode-7-sexy-bras-for-men

Oh, and the guy’s and bras thing? There are two reasons we design them. We can. And our customers love them!

The Good, the Ugly and the Funny

Getting a LOT of media attention certainly gives us some perspective on what the wider community think about lingerie for men. ?We always believed the results would be influenced due to the fact our supporters prefer to be discreet, and are therefore less inclined to have anything to say. ?We’re still amazed at how many women would ‘run a mile’ if their husband liked lingerie. ?No wonder we have to ship to unusual addresses so often!

Here are some of the comments that grabbed out attention and what we thought of them.

Comments we like

  • “It’s funny how many people are offended by the idea of a “man” wearing something they’re probably never going to see him wearing.”
  • “Oh come on folks..don’t be haters 🙂 ?Yeah, it’s a little bit odd. But if some men want to give “frillies” a try, then why the heck not? ?Live and let live.”
  • “Unless you’re a nudist or just wear potato sacks, EVERYTHING you wear is a costume of some kind. It’s just that we, as a society, have determined that some “costumes” fit the acceptable cultural norm and are just called clothes. Men, why do you wear a strip of silk cloth in front of your shirt when you want to look serious and businesslike? Because that is part of the culturally accepted business costume. My point? Dress in what makes you happy, you’ll find yourself happier. duh. ?(footnote: when at work, where what makes your boss happy. duh.)”
  • “I hate to tell you…..but more men like to dress in ladies underwear than you can ever imagine, they don’t all consider themselves to be CD’s or TV’s. Ladies, you ALL need to check your drawers because I bet an awful lot of you “share” your underwear with your man, you just don’t know it.” ?Yep, got it in one with that comment..
  • “Here’s a wake-up call. We’ve gone metrosexual now. Men use beauty products. They moisturise. They take two bottles into the shower. Get used to it. What is it about transvestism, even at this level, that people find so threatening? Ladies, do you think he’s going to love you any less? Perhaps find himself a boyfriend and settle down with his and his matching Weimaraners? Or is it that if you fancy him in a pair of knickers, it might make you question your own orientation? Men, are you worried that, after one pint too many, you might not be able to tell the difference? Or that you might no longer care? These are your own insecurities, people, and you show yourselves up by displaying them here. Cross-dressing harms nobody, and women have been getting away with it for years. It might offend some when a man does it, though perhaps we should be asking ourselves why.”?We had to show this simply because he put so much effort into the comment!
  • “Come on lads we have all dressed up in the Mrs underwear for some bedroom fun. ?OH! Just me then? ?If my wife wanted me to dress up in this for some bedroom fun then I would do. After all she dresses up for me. ?Each to their own.”
  • “I’ve been wearing bra and pants for years…………………………ever since the wife found them under the backseat of the car !!!!!” -?This is a familiar story. ?Get discovered, and either own up or pretend you’re having an affair to hide the secret..
  • “Doesn’t do it for me !! but some men like to dress up so at least the can go and get their own now !!” -?Yep, that’s the point.
  • ?”if my husband had a fetish like this, i would totally buy it for him” -?Lucky guy!

Comments we weren’t quite so fussed about.

Clearly, there are some people that aren’t potential customers. ?We decided?not?to show some of the particularly troubling comments here.

  • “How ugly. How disgusting. What filthy freak came up with this! What kind of woman would let a “man” who wants to wear?women’s underwear near her? People do not know when they should be ashamed. Filthy disgusting pigs.” -?We’re still feeling clean and surprisingly unashamed..
  • “This is yet another step in the prefabricated moral decline of our society. Is it any wonder why we have kids killing each other, dope on every corner, and politicians that squander trillions in dollars, babies on food stamps/welfare. THIS IS WHY” -?And we’re really sorry about that meteor shower we caused the other day too..
  • “omfg… my bloke would be so far out the door if he ever wore anything like this… jesus christ… it may sound sexist but us girls can pull off wearing mens boxers but men can definitely not pull off wearing ANY of this GROSS!!!!!!!” -?Ummm, yeah it does kinda sound a bit sexist and I think we both now realize that you DO wear the boxers in your house..right?
  • “Any man who wanted to wear these would get the boot from me double quick!” –?Phew! ?Thanks for clearing that up but guys are wearing it for themselves – not you..
  • “speechless”?– Good one! ?Let’s keep it that way eh? ?And maybe tell your friends..

Comments that were a little funny.??They made us laugh a little bit, but most were a little too descriptive to place here.

  • “My eyes! My eyes!!”
  • “Okay, maybe the internet wasn’t such a great idea after all.”
  • “Think this company is going to go BUST”?– Thanks for palm reading! ?Should we shut down now or do you think we can run for another week? ?Oh hang on, I just noticed we’re getting busier..
  • “None of the blokes I know would wear this kind of gear and if they did their wives would laugh them out of the house. I am in OZ and had not heard about this company until I read this article” -?I’m sure you know those blokes pretty well and you sound like you would be the first one they’d tell if they wanted advice on lingerie..

Read something you thought was good or funny? ?Feel free to let us know

 

FAQ from the media

We have certainly responded to plenty of questions from the media over the past couple of weeks, so here are just a few of them, along with our response-

Q: What made you decide to make lingerie for men?

A: Why not? Men’s underwear has been much the same for many years. ?The same styles, same patterns, same fabrics. ?We decided to step outside the square and manufacture briefs made with satins, lightweight microfibre blends and add a little lace and or accessories for fun!

Q: The bras, why a bra when there’s no reason for a guy to wear a bra?

A: Why does everything we wear necessarily have to have a function? ?Admittedly, bras were not something we initially planned on designing. ?However we received overwhelming correspondence from visitors and customers asking us to manufacture several new garments. ?So after looking around on the web, we discovered no one was designing anything suitable for guys that ticked all the boxes, so we went ahead and designed a few different styles. ?Feedback indicates our customers like the feel of the garment and they are a very popular item.

Q: Do you have a lot of gay customers?

A: We do not ask our customers about their personal lives prior to making a purchase. ?However, based on our early research, we believe that the majority of our customers are married. ?Our goal has always been to offer an alternative style of underwear for men, based on their physique rather than their sexuality.

Q: Your recent appearance at the International Lingerie Show appears to be a successful PR stunt. ?What will you do next?

A: Contrary to speculation, the ILS and runway show was not a stunt. ?In fact we exhibited at the Show in September 2012, and there was a great reaction at the time, but no major media attention. ?We also had guys on the runway in September and that was to showcase our collections to retail buyers. ?The same reason we exhibited in April 2013. ?And the same reason we will return to Las Vegas in September 2013.

Q: Where do you sell the most garments?

A: The United States is our largest market. ?We established a distribution network there early and followed up by placing stock in stores across several states. ?Our next largest markets are (equally) the UK, Canada and Australia. ?We also have a distributor in the UK that services our European market.

Q: What are your thoughts with regard to negative comments from the community and on social media?

A: We understand we are servicing a niche market and not everyone will understand our business model. ?It would not be uncommon for men to openly criticise our garments, then follow up by ordering something from our line and having it discreetly shipped to an alternative address.

Q: Do you think men’s lingerie will go mainstream?

A: I don’t think you will see HommeMystere in your local Macy’s, Debenhams or David Jones any time soon, but I believe we’re on the right path. ?We already stock a few lingerie stores in the US, so as men’s lingerie becomes more socially acceptable, we’re confident that trend will continue.